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Lisa was looking at Rick in a new light. Granted, he hated his desk job,
but he had shouldered the responsibility that had been given him and was
undergoing that torment, that near-schizophrenia, that any decent commanding
officer knew in combat: the need to carry out the mission weighed against the
lives of his or her command. She wouldn't have wished it on him, but she saw
now that he had come into his full growth, as Captain Gloval had always put
it.
Rick, for his part, looked over at his wife and saw that she understood
the forces vying to rip him apart-understood, too, more vividly than he ever
had, the forces that had pressed Lisa so agonizingly when she was SDF-l's
first officer, and later SDF-3's captain.
Rick had something of a revelation. I'd rather be in a cockpit,
responsible for one VT and my own life, because it's easier! Let this cup
pass...
But it didn't. Nonetheless, Rick saw that Lisa fully understood, and
that gave him a strength that surprised him. He also felt a measure of shame;
how often had she been in this kind of dilemma, when he couldn't see beyond
his own Skull Leader problems?
Every time he thought he had run out of reasons to love her, a new one
appeared.
Except it didn't help him with his Karbarran problem. Lron, till now,
the Papa-bear stalwart, swung a fist the size of a Thanksgiving turkey, and
took a considerable portion off the lip of the table nearest him.
"No!"
CHAPTER TWELVE
Here's where you get back
Some of your own;
Here's where we visit
Part of the horror upon its author
From an Augury chant of the Karbarrans
Nobody was about to tell Lron he couldn't have his say, or to try to stifle
Crysta, who had risen up next to her mate.
Their goggles were pushed down around their thick, furry necks; The
armor and accoutrements they wore only made them seem that much more like
captive and dangerous wild animals.
"We cannot attack yet," Lron roared, and Lisa began to consider the
tactical problems of having half-ton ursinoids turning mean on the bridge.
Stun guns might not even faze them, given the thick pelts and subcutaneous
fat. It was either shoot to kill, or listen. And given how much Humans still
had to learn about their allies, she followed the example of Veidt and the
other Sentinels, and listened.
Rick saw her decision clearly by the lines of her face; he backed off,
too, and for one moment they shared a brief, small smile-but it was something
that warmed them both out of all proportion to the moment.
"We cannot attack," Lron was grant-howling, "because the [here he made
an ursine noise that didn't translate into the lingua franca the Sentinels
used] is not correct! You are outsiders, and blind to the ways of Karbarra,
and yet I tell you: if you go against the [that same word again], then there
is nothing but total disaster awaiting you."
It took considerable time to sort out, during which Rick fidgeted.
Long-horned Burak and the crystal-bright Baldan spoke in defense of Lron's
past accomplishments. Rick felt like pulling a fistful of hair out of his
head.
But it seemed that Karbarrans had a certain sense of fate, and Rick got
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the impression that it was depressingly downbeat and debilitating. And the
fate of the bears was that there be no all-out attack on Karbarra at this
time. What Lron and Crysta wanted was a very small recon group, a handful, to
go down and scout things out.
"That's crazy!" Rick yelled. "We know where the Inorganics and the rest
of our targets are! Let's paste 'em, then go in and save the Karbarrans! My
god, is there anybody here who doesn't understand what we're talking about?
The Invid aren't going to spare your people, no matter what concessions you
make! There'll be another demand, and another!"
Crysta came out of her big chair with a growl, showing her snow-white
peglike canines. Rick stood his ground-arguably the bravest thing he had ever
done; Lisa's hand was clawing for a pistol that wasn't at her belt.
"The Shapings of the Protoculture do not dictate...that," Crysta said
slowly, as if in a dream. She lowered her head as though she had come at bay.
"Do not necessarily say that."
Rick shook his head, unable to understand what it was they were getting
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